In the End

I have to admit that I am in the end of my Jason Mraz phase. I never saw this coming, until the day everyone knows about "I'm Yours".

Call me shallow, because my fandom is just that shallow ... and greedy. In my world where I am the center of it, I want me to be the only one liking a particular singer. There is an absurd sense of "being different" in that way.

This is not my first time stop liking a singer/musician.

Back in my senior time, in my dormitory, I used to be the one Linkin Park's fan. I loved it when people asked me whose song I played. Performing "In the End' in the talent show and being the rapper myself were the peak level of me as the LP's fan. Thanks to my friends, my all-girls band won at the moment. We were not the best performer indeed, but we performed something new back then.

When I was in my preparation school in Jakarta and then went to college in Depok, I met a lot of LP's fans. And they were all female. I became a part of mainstream there. There my fandom waned, till the phase I didn't even memorize any lyrics from Meteora and the songs after. I lose my enthusiasm toward them because most of the people who were revolving "my world" knew about LP.

And the history repeated itself.

I remember paste-ing all Jason Mraz's songs to my friends' computers in Bandung in the early 2006. I remember talking how good was his lyrics. I even once had one blog dedicated for him.

I think this waning begun in the concert. How ridiculous it is for me, since the concert is also my peak level as his fan. But, there I realized that "the sense of elitism" has gone. Nowadays, I don't even have any Mraz's song in my playlist, am eager less about his new songs, never visit his website anymore.

Yes, this is absurd. But that's how my world revolves.

Now, my fandom moves to Asian, particularly Japanese and Korean singers/groups. I can state here that I don't have any English songs in my playlist for months already. I need to break from those American mainstream songs. If Alia chose to listen to the English indie, I chose to move to other languages.

It can be considered suitable with my selfish way since I am barely able to find friends who have the same interest with me in this East Asian thing.

Now, what if I lose my fandom toward East Asian music industry? I bet those days will come someday.

Because they always do.